Duck Duck Cougar?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
