any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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