Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize