im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
