TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize