Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
