Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
