Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
