i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
