she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
