he shaved USA in his pubs
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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