I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
