I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have aggressive nipples.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
