Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
