Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
