I just pynch a tree in the face
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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