There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
