Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This house was built for laser tag.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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