Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
