I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
