Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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