I'm eating all of the evidence.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
