drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I love having hate sex.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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