based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize