non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize