your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
