butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
