So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
