Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He kissed a someone with a penis
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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