evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
