She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
