guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
