ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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