i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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