when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
