you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
