I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
