You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
