He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
