i just google imaged poop.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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