D3 body, D1 cock
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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