Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
