coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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