you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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