And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
