I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
