it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
