Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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