Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
