when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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