bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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