bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
