This girl is more easily done than said...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
