I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Congratulations! We have a period
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
