you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
