she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize